A Big Realization

Are we all really "pretty people"?

So today I had a very big "ah-ha" moment. My friend H and I were sitting watching New Girl (very funny show, you should watch) and she came across a photo that surprised us both. I think her statement was the thing that made me think the most. It went something like this : "Damnnn that explains a whole lot. Especially why they can be hateful." And after picking myself up off the floor, I looked at her with my world renowned "Peyton face" (the ultimate of all judgement faces) and she went on to explain that the person was so hateful because they have not always been the best looking person, but we are the best because we have always been pretty. Again she got the "Peyton face". She proceeded to give me the "batch please" face and to tell me weight does not have anything to do with being pretty. And while I still think she is crazy, I can agree.

While we all know I am the queen of Fatdom, I have always found small things about me pretty. And I can say no one has said I am ugly and fat (at least they haven't anymore...jokes). But she is right, weight has nothing to do with bring pretty. Weight can add pounds but not diminish your naturally pretty features. So embrace the fat and come join me in Fatdom! 

Also updates on my life recently (sorry I have been having the time of my life! Again jokes! I just got too lazy to write):

1. Went and saw the Conjuring with a good friend. Our deal was that if I went, he had to stay with me until I eventually fell asleep and save me from any demons trying to get me to kill a child. SCARIEST MOVIE OF MY LIFE! I literally watched it through my hands and his arm. It was awful. But I can cross it off my must watch list. 

2. I have come to the realization that I will most likely spend my life as the crazy single friend. I am just really good at being single (and yes I do mean that. Have yet to have a real relationship. I'm 21 years old. It's depressing) but all my friends kids will love their crazy Aunt Pey. 

3. If, and a big IF (refer to number 2) I do ever find my King to help me rule Fatdom ( he doesn't have to be fat, but has to agree to be my consort), he needs to live in a nice house, near a lake or large body of water, and have access to a speed boat. If I could I would spend my entire life on a boat. I rediscovered my love of boats when I went to Nashville to visit my uncle.

4. A good coat of spray paint will make any piece of furniture look loads better! With my best friend H and her BF F and their lovely dog China moving in with me and my roommate E, we decided to spray paint some old furniture to make it match some of the stuff we already have. And let me tell you, it made it look like we paid $1000 for it (okay more realistically like $25, but you get the idea). So be on the lookout for pictures of our awesome craftiness! 

5. Doing a 30 day squat challenge from Pinterest is not a good idea. Repeat NOT A GOOD IDEA! H and I decided to try it out. The first day was 30 squats. Umm let me just say that big girls are not meant to move like that repeatedly. Around squat number 10, we were both kind of feeling the burn. By 25 I felt like I was dying. After we completed the 30, our legs felt like jelly. It was bad. I know I am out of shape, but damn. So needless to say, I will not be completing this challenge. 

So just remember, being Big doesn't not diminish your amount of beauty. In fact it is probably one of the many small things that people love about you! 

Carry On,

The Big Girl

Big commitment

You've got a friend in me

No truer words have been said. My best friend and I have been friends for more than 8+ years. We even became roommates when moving to college. Crazy right? You would think we would have killed each other. Nope. We are the best roommates for each other. And crazier still we will be roommates again come August. 

So that being said, I am awarding myself the friend of the year award. What, may you ask, did I do to deserve this award? I am currently sitting in an empty mall parking garage in 84 degree weather waiting on her to get out of a store meeting. In the Alabama heat. In the middle of summer. I have been sitting here for at least 2 hours. That is true friendship right there. And did I mention that this is at night in a Sunday? Ever think an almost empty parking garage would be scary? You would be absolutely correct. Scariest place I have been in a while. 

That being said, I decided to post about it and what true friendship means to me. My best friend( from here on out known as H) and I met in a high school advanced English Class sophomore year.  Like I have stated before, I was queen of Fatdom and did not have many friends, except one known as E ( we will get to her later). So I ended up sitting next to this chick who was on the golf team. My first thought was we have a golf team? Second was that she would never be friend with the queen of Fatdom. So as the year progressed we slowly became friends. We bonded over our love of really bad teen books, the hatred of the smelly, arrogant kid that sat in front of me, and our lack of coolness. I mean we thought we were the shit, but what 15 year old doesn't? 

So as High School progressed, we became better friends and slowly advanced the social ladder. Remember my friend E? Well junior year, E kind of freaked out and went off on me. So who do I call? None other than H. H proceeds to call E and bitch her out for me. That is a true friend. We don't here from E anymore now a days. 

 By senior year we reached the level of toleration by the popular crowd. So we were accepted but not all that included. H and I just thought we were one of them. I drove H and I to school every morning and during those rides I introduced H to T.I. and other rappers. She still loves them to this day. We went to homecoming and football games together, and even were Oakleigh Belles together. If you aren't versed in your historic homes of Mobile, Al, then let me tell you about Oakleigh Belles. We dressed in historically accurate dress from the 1850s (hoop, parasol, and fan included) and gave yours of the historic home Oakleigh. We thought it was awesome, looking back it was kind of weird and lame for us to be in high school and doing that. But hey, it looks great in resumes. 

We finally graduated and got the hell out of Mobile, and decided to take on Montevallo. We even joined the same sorority. And through all of that, we have become even better friends. I honestly don't know what I would do without H. She has helped me through a lot and has given me the best laughs of my life so far. So this one goes out to you H! You can't get rid of me yet! 

Carry on,

The Big Girl

Small items, Big Obsessions

I have a problem! 

And it is called nail polish. Specifically Essie. And when I say problem, it's not like I have maybe 10 or so bottles. I am talking racks on racks on racks (or would it be bottles on bottles on bottles?). It is like the Duggar family took up residence in my nail polish bag times 5 (if you aren't a Duggar expert like myself or dont want to do the math, my collection is around 80 or so bottles) And i have only really been collecting for around 2 years. It got so bad one time, that my roommate almost had me sign a contract saying I would not buy anymore until my next birthday or they would pour all the ones I had out and make me watch.

Now, the sad thing is that I know most of the names of the nail polishes. My friends  think I am crazy, but constantly want to borrow my nail polish (get the irony). I think that if I stopped supplying, I would have polish heads stalking me to just let them have a couple of coats. I also have become very good at giving nail polish advice. 

But to be honest, collecting nail polish is a better addiction than lets say clothing or drugs, right? Granted, a good bottle will run you around $8.00, but it is worth it. And once you become a nail polish addict, you are a snob about nail polish. I like my one brand, and will branch off occasionally, but I stick to my one dealer. It is like you have a loyalty to it. And you would fight any person who said your brand sucked.

If you think you might be a nail polish addict but aren't sure, let me give you some signs: 

When people say that you have the same shade of color in 10 different bottles, you can name all of them off and describe how they are subtlety different. 

When you walk into a store, you instinctively head straight for the health and beauty department to see if your brand has released a new collection. 

When your friends are following you to the health and beauty department, they are constantly telling you to walk away and you don't need anymore nail polish. 

You are constantly looking for a new bag to hold your collection because the last one just didn't cut it and the zipper broke. 

And lastly you stalk your favorite nail polish website to find when/what their new collection will be and which ones you will buy first. 

So if you experience any or all of the symptoms above, I am sorry to say that you are a justified nail polish addict. But it is okay, we are here for you. It is okay to have a big obsession for something so small (at least that is what I tell myself). 

Carry on,

The Big Girl 

Small problem may end Big fun

'Merica

As most Americans, today I will be in the company of great friends, grilled food, and the ever popular fireworks. Now, I have seen fireworks, played with sparklers and poppers, but I have never actually bought my own fireworks or been in close range of shooting them off. I have always lived in an area where they are illegal to shoot and my parents were never fond of them. Let me just tell you the story of how my first time buying fireworks went.

One of my friends invited me, my best friend, and her boyfriend to go buy fireworks a couple of days ago. So we all hop in the car and head off to one of the usual sketch firework trailers. My best friend and I really just wanted poppers and sparklers (yes I know we are lame, but the idea of shooting of fireworks kind of scares me) but the guys wanted to go all out. So we joked around and bought some things, then decided to head over to one of the big warehouses. Well what do we see when we get there, a very BIG box of all the things you would ever need to have an awesome 4th of July, not to mention, New Years and the next 4th of July. But alas, it was $1000 and being broke college students that we are, were just shy of the $1000 by like $999. So we buy somethings there (end up with more poppers) and head to yet another warehouse store. This was the last stop and they had the best items. The boys went crazy and my best friend and I just bought more poppers, naturally. So we came out of the three stores with enough fireworks to light up the sky in my small college town for a while. 

But we have one small problem that might end our Big fun. Our plan to shoot them off in the country (where it is legal) fell through, so we are going to be shooting them off at our friends apartment (were it is very illegal). This should go very well (can you sense the sarcasm?)! We also thought we were going to have rain, but it seems that mother nature decided to like Alabama today and our small town. I will hopefully NOT be in either jail or 6 feet under tomorrow so I can write to say that it turned out great and we had lots of fun. 

Carry On and Happy 4th,
The Big Girl 

Big Misconceptions

So as I sat yesterday at work doing absolutely nothing and waiting for my movie to buffer (don't you hate that!), I tried to think about what my next post should be about. The first thing that came to mind was common misconceptions that people have about bigger people. Okay so it was not the first, but I doubt if anyone actually reads this blog, they would want to hear about my obsession with nail polish. So lets just jump right in:

"You won't break me if you sit in my lap!"

So we all have those friends or people that sit in other peoples laps. Well lets just say that bigger people are always the one sitting on the actual piece of furniture. If not, we ask politely to change. Smaller people always say "you can sit on me!" (side note, that sounds weird out of context). My automatic reactions is I will  break those chicken legs! Then we argue about how I am being ridiculous and I wouldn't break them, etc. Okay, lets just look at the reality. If you have 125 lbs sitting on top of 250 lbs, it shouldn't be a problem with support. Let's just swap those around with the heavy one on top. The 150 lbs could not hold the 250 lbs for very long. So any argument made by the smaller person is irrelevant. Honey, I will always be too heavy to sit in your lap, and unless you have some super power that causes you to have steel legs, I will break you. 

"Why don't we go shopping!"

The dreaded sentence any big girl wants to hear. This means that you are going shopping at a place where you will most likely not be able to find anything that was not meant for 60 year old women who actually want an elastic waistband. This is our reality: the clothing industry was not meant for big people. They give us pants with elastic waistbands and shirts that literally look like a bag. And if you are lucky enough to find something it is most likely 25% more expensive than what your small friends found. I mean I get it, you are bigger so it takes more fabric to cover our back boobs. That is cool. I would really like my back boobs covered and not just hanging out to the world. But if I am going to be paying more, I would like to have a bigger selection and more options. 

"Let's go ride a roller coaster!"

Okay, let me stop you right there. I am VERY afraid of heights. I will not ever get in a steel car to be pulled to the top of a steel track to drop down and go flying around. That does not even come close to what I consider to be fun. But if you enjoy those things, have fun! But from a Big girl stand point, those metal cars are just a tad to small, and that includes the safety harness. If it takes me, the person sitting next to me, and the ride worker to get me into a harness, I feel like it is not going to hold me in very well when we do a flip. 

So, while I could go on, I feel that it would just bore you and cause you to stop reading. Those are my top 3 Big misconceptions in this small world we live in. 

Carry on, 

The Big Girl 

It is not such a small world after all...

I love to eat! 

There I said it. The root of my problems is food (and the fact that I am just not all that into exercise and being sweaty). Not just any food either. The fattiest of foods that you can find are the ones I love. Lets be honest here; EVERYONE loves those foods. Even if you are the healthiest person alive and eat nothing but lettuce, you still dream about that triple chocolate cake you saw in the bakery window last week.

This small world sees me as an obese or fat person. While everyone struggles with body image at some point in life, I have always struggled with mine. I was not a fat baby, in fact I want to believe that I was the cutest damn baby that anyone had seen in a while (while I still tell myself that from time to time, my family seems to disagree). The whole fat kid thing hit me around age 6. Looking back through pictures, I seem to just make a slow progression to Fatdom. 

Elementary school was easy, no one cared if you were fat. All those kids cared about was if you stole their scented marker or took their place as line leader. Ahh, life was easy back then! Then we hit middle school. The dreaded place were they coop up all the kids who hit puberty with all the kids who are still trying to live without their scented markers. Middle school is where most kids move on from Fatdom. Not me. I prospered in it, bought land in it, even became a Queen of it. But hey, it still was not that bad. Then comes High School. The place where freshmen think they have to show off how bad ass they are and the seniors just count down the days until graduation. This place was my living hell. The amount of teasing and hurtful things that were said to me was ridiculous. Here are some examples: 

• One person told me I had a butt in the front.
• They told me I made the portables shake when I walked. 
• Senior year I had someone put Cheetos in my gas tank, and write "I love Fat People" on the  back of my car. 

Think about what that does to a person who already has low self esteem and body image problems. But hey, I graduated and met some friends that I had great times with. I actually met the friend that will be stuck with me for life (Sorry 'bout it!). While it was living hell, I made it through alive like most people. But I still lived in Fatdom. I moved on to college: the land of the unknown, the freaks, and the sterotypical Greeks. But this is the place that I learned to be okay with living in Fatdom. I even joined a sorority. Who would have thought a person living in Fatdom, would get into a sorority? It was the place that I found out that it was okay to be fat, you will find friends that will love you for you. Hell, I found 54 that love me for all my quirks. 

So while I still live in Fatdom, I have learned to love and accept it fully. I will always be fat, and I am okay with that. 

If you have made it this far, I thank you. Sorry I had to delve into my life as a fat kid, but I felt it was relevant to the whole "Why I am writing this blog" story. I decided to begin this blog adventure to finally tell people that it is okay to be big (and finally realize that myself). So this will be a blog about a Big Girl hashing it out in the Small World we live in. Welcome to Fatdom everyone! 

Carry on, 

The Big Girl